Cuts to the BLU Medic resting on a hammock in Dustbowl
Medic: (breaths in deeply, then out) Was für ein wundervoller Tag!
Heavy: (offscreen, firing his Brass Beast) Where is doctor!?
Medic: (facepalm) Schweinhund. (he stands up, takes his Medi Gun, then approaches the Heavy) Ja?
Heavy: Charge me, doctor!
Medic: -eyeroll and sigh- (fires his Medi Gun at the Heavy, overhealing him)
Heavy: (continues firing BB, devastating several RED mercenaries) Ya-dadadadadadada ya-dadadadadadada do-de-da-va-da-da-dada ka-boom... ka-boom!
Scout: (offscreen) Yo, doc! Can ya help me out here!?
Pans to the Scout, who is stabbed in the chest with the Sniper's Kukri
Medic: Ja, ja, give me a moment.
Scout: Aaaaagh! This f**kin' hurts!
Medic: (facepalm) Vhy must my life be a misery? (takes out the Crusader's Crossbow and shoots at the Scout)
Scout: Um... whaddya doin', doc?
Medic: Do you really vant to know?
Scout: Hey, hey, no, no, no. Don't even think about firing at me!
Medic: (fires a crossbow at the Scout's kneecap)
Scout: Aagh, s**t! That was not cool, doc! That was way past messed! That, that... actually helped! I salute ya, ya insane doctor! (leaps back up on his feet and runs off) Whoo!
Medic: (sighs) Zat vas really tiring vork. Okay, Heavy, I'm back.
Cuts to the Heavy's body, revealing that he's been backstabbed
Medic: (gasps) Nein! Achtung, Spy!
Spy: (uncloaks from behind) Looking for me, doctor?
Medic: (groans) Verdammt!
The Spy takes out his other balisong and backstabs the Medic, knocking him unconscious
Spy: (laughs; mockingly) Medic! Medic! Medic! (laughs) Scout was right, you suck at diagnosis!
A stab sound is heard
The RED Spy falls over, revealing the BLU Spy from behind having backstabbed him
Spy: (headshake) Vous êtes un salaud pathétique.
Cuts to the Medic's body
Spy: Don't worry, doctor. Help is on the way.